I Appreciate My Secret Readers

Let’s face it… my content might be a bit… much. Not so bad, but you know… not so politically correct at times. I also probably come across crazy at times too. I’m ok with it. I’m not the only one. I just want you to know that I do appreciate the secret views. I don’t care much about stats but I do see them. I see a lot of views and not so much interaction. That’s cool. I wouldn’t “like” what I write either. But, I would probably sneak in a few reads from some wacky a$$ unstable life coach. Just like you’re doing right now. For those of you who do like or comment on my content, give yourselves a hand. You really don’t give a f**** about what people think. You’re not afraid to be seen with me. Well done. You are winning at life. I mean it.

-WORST LIFE COACH

Would You Tell Someone With RBF They Have RBF? RESTING B*TCH FACE -WORST LIFE COACH

Yo, it’s been a while. I’m eating pasta that my girlfriend made for me. It’s been nuts to say the least. There have been a lot of health scares in the past couple months since I’ve been here. I won’t get into it because for the most part all is well. Anyway, there’s the lady at the gym who has RBF… for real. She literally looks like she is smelling something bad ALL THE TIME. I wonder if she knows. I want to tell her that she has RBF to help her. When I left the gym I made it a point to say, hey… have a good day! She tried smiling but the RBF was too real. She again looked like there was a bad smell in the room… or on her upper lip. I think I should leave this one alone.

-WORST LIFE COACH

So What Now? -WORST LIFE COACH

I am at a place in my life where I am actually happy. Or at least, happier than I could have ever once imagined I could be. Of course, there are ebbs and flows but at the core of it all I am content with the way my days have been going. I spend a lot of time trying to grow my coaching business. In fact, I am addicted to growing my coaching business. I don’t have a ton of other interests. I love spending time with my girlfriend, listening to music, exercising, and working on my business. But I am at a place now where I am unsure as to what I am supposed to do next. I eventually accomplish the goals that I set for myself based on my opinion about the past. So, it’s almost like I can’t let myself be obsessed about whether or not something will succeed or fail because for the most part it always works out. It feels like I need something else… something other than my coaching biz to be obsessed about. I think it needs to be something deep… something spiritual… I just don’t know. Maybe I should try meditating. I am always telling my coaching clients that meditation changed my life because it helped me take a deeper look at myself. I really don’t know much about meditation.

-WORST LIFE COACH

I Was Dragged Into a Drag Show -WORST LIFE COACH

 

Um… So I went out tonight by myself. I like to do that from time to time. I really love to dance. My girlfriend says I look like a spazz when I dance but, I like it. Anyhow, there I was at this dance place that I go to sometimes. It was my third choice of the night. The other two places were even worse. Anyway, so there I was… dancing to some decent music and then all of a sudden this drag queen gets up on stage and announces that he? she? not sure… that they were going to be doing a show. What the f***?

At first I thought it was a crazy person. And then I realized that this was really happening. So this weirdo drag lady started dancing and singing while everyone on the dance floor stood confused. Then I realized there were a couple other drag people who were there and they would be performing too. This performance looked like basically… dancing and then rolling on the floor on the dance floor looking seductive. That’s what they did pretty much. It was f***ing awkward. I took some video to share with you guys.

As you can see in the video, there is a guy who pretty much looks as confused as I felt tonight. I zoomed in on him. Here’s the thing, I have NOTHING against drag queens or people that well… do weird sh*t. But I DO have something against any a$$hole who stops the party to act really f***ing awkward. Best of luck to you in your career drag lady dude. I am not sure how you will be defining success on your journey to stardom but either way I hope I never see your f***ing weird a$$ again.

-WORST LIFE COACH

I’m So Glad I Don’t Have To Hear Your Crap Today -WORST LIFE COACH

It’s Saturday. Thank the heavens. I don’t have to listen to anyone complain about their life today. Yesterday I woke up to my bank calling me to let me know that someone used my credit card to buy $1,000 worth of something from somewhere I’ve never been. Thanks for that, whoever you are. I got my money back and went to the bank earlier to get a temporary card. It could have been worse. I’m not knocking my job as a Life Coach. I do like it. I love the fact that I get paid pretty well doing it. I love the fact that it’s super easy. In no way do I mean to disrespect the GAME. I am a bit superstitious and believe if I disrespect the GAME (Life Coaching Game) all of my clients will disappear and I will have to live in my parent’s basement again. That would suck, especially now that I have a girlfriend. She doesn’t even like my parents. I can understand why, kinda.

My girlfriend got her lashes and eyebrows done today. If you read my earlier post about my poverty mindset money problems then you know that it’s a big deal that I am not freaking out. Take it as it comes I keep telling myself. She reminded me of something yesterday. She said that I have more money saved and make more money than I have ever made in my life. All of this is true. And I’m super freakin cheap and scared of spending money. Weird.  Anyhow, today is a day where I don’t see any clients. It’s great. I can be myself. I don’t have to be this magician guy who convinces you that you are better than you are. Today, I can tell you the truth, you’re not that awesome. Be ok with that. It’s not so bad. I’m not that awesome either. I just fake it. You can fake it too.

-WORST LIFE COACH

Pep Talks From My Girlfriend, “Don’t Be A F*@#$@ Loser!” -WORST LIFE COACH

“You better not be a f*ckin loser. You have to be a winner.” That is what my girlfriend told me during our daily pep talk today. Yea, she’s pretty tough on me. Here’s the reality of it. She is the reason why I am a somewhat successful Life Coach. She is why I am no longer living and working out of my parent’s basement. My girlfriend does more for me than I feel comfortable admitting. The problem is that, I’m kind of a loser at my core. I am lazy. I am motivated in spurts but then I tend to revert back to my usual “take it easy” self. Why did my girlfriend have this pep talk with me?

Well, we are going to ********* tomorrow and I realized that I don’t have any cannabis jolly ranchers. Cannabis jolly ranchers are the best! It’s a nice little quick and easy buzz that I can carry in my pocket. The problem is that my regular pot store was closed. So, I convinced her to accompany me to another pot store that I have never been too. Keep in mind, new environments freak me out because of my “self-identified autism.” It was a nervous, uncomfortable ride to say the least, especially when it came time to park.

The worst part was that the parking was in some back alley in a creepy neighborhood. I had her sit in the car while I went in. She didn’t like that part AT ALL. Keep in mind, my girlfriend is pretty classy. She dresses nice, looks good, has expensive taste and is world traveled. Me? I’m none of those things and I have a super crappy car. My car is such a piece of junk that I have to hide it when I do my coaching sessions because I don’t want my clients to see my ride. I don’t want them to see it because I talk big about how successful I am. I’ll write another post eventually about my crappy car and how I have been caught parked next to clients in the past. Yea, I haven’t seen those clients in a while.

Here’s the second worst part about this evening. They didn’t even have jolly ranchers and it was super crowded. All of this is what led to the pep talk.

-WORST LIFE COACH

The Repressed Trainer -WORST LIFE COACH

Hey, trainer dude. Whatcha doing in this position bruh? This is a photo I took earlier today while I was at the gym. This guy must be REPRESSING something. I wasn’t too bothered because the girl seemed to be into it. But seriously, just date each other. Some of the other positions they were in were even worse. I didn’t take more photos because well, it was weird.

-WORST LIFE COACH

 

 

HOW DID I GET THIS JOB? – WORST LIFE COACH

Hi… So I am not entirely sure where this blog will go. I am not even sure that I will keep writing. I expect that I will start writing, lose interest and completely forget about all of it. That’s the norm. I have really bad ADHD sometimes and I just recently discovered that I might be autistic. My girlfriend says I am high functioning. I took the online test and found out that ya… I’m pretty much autistic.

So about the life coaching part. I am a life coach. I actually surprisingly have clients. No clue how the heck that happened. I have about 20 clients. Some weeks it might even be 30. I do pretty well but it’s just a weird job. I help people see things that are so common sense to me but they can’t see at all. It’s strange. But, it works.

I want to mention that this blog will never in any way be me trying to get you work with me. In fact, I don’t ever want you to know who I am. This blog is going to be about… the other side of the business. The side of the business where well, it’s not impossible to feel like a conman doing this job. And this is the place where I want to anonymously admit to those kinds of feelings.

Not long ago I was standing behind a clerk’s desk trying to help customers find parts to their broken crap. Maybe they had a microwave that had the glass trey inside break. They needed a replacement. AND it was my fault that it broke. Well, the company that I work for… it was the company’s fault but I was the one standing in front of them. I’m sure you know how that one goes.

Then one day, I had enough. I quit. I had just enough savings to buy me some time to think of something. Not a lot of time, but enough. I went to some cheapo school where I could basically get trained a little bit and then call myself a life coach. I set up a website, got my business license in order, and launched my shot in the dark business. My first office was in the downstairs room of my parents house. My parents were super cool about it. They pretty much left me alone. Their house is decently nice so clients didn’t seem to mind that my office was a residential one.

I won’t tell you where but I advertised myself on some websites online and started getting leads. My first lead/client was super freakin awkward. She was a model. Not a model that I would find attractive, but one who would think she was attractive to any man in front of her. Yeah, that’s awkward. I made my first $40 bucks. She came back for a couple months and well… I don’t think she got anything out of it if I’m honest. It was kind of weird for me too. BUT, proof of concept. I got a client!

After that, everything stopped. I got no clients for a long time. I was so extremely stressed. It was the worst. I took that stress and channeled it into more marketing. I found some lucrative ways to get clients online that ended up flooding me with more and more clients. In the course of about a year (maybe more) I was at 15 clients per week. I was making maybe $**** a month. I kept pushing the online marketing. I pushed and I pushed and I got lucky I guess. After another year I had doubled my income. It was weird. It was kind of like I found a niche that I was actually good at. BUT inside, it was all just a big performance, con, show… add your own synonyms here. Another year past and I ended up where I am now. I am nearing the **** a year mark. I don’t think I will make it this year but my girlfriend says to stay positive and stop living fearfully.

I have had a few months where I made $****. I’ve had some months where I made $****. Again, I was just a clerk. I do like my job but honestly… get this, I get paid to hear people talk at me. And then I tell them something encouraging and they go on their way. All I have to do is look nice and they come back. I am glad that they do but it’s such a strange job. AND it’s like I am supposed to have an answer for every question. I don’t mind that part. It plays into my ego/God complex I suppose.

Anyway, this was the rant for the evening. I’m sure there will be more. Or there might not be. Either way. Thanks for reading.

-Worst Life Coach

My Honest Review of a VERY POPULAR BLOGGER on WORDPRESS🤫 -WORST LIFE COACH

If you don’t know who *** is, she is a blogger with a large following on WordPress. She has about ****** following her. Very well done! She is a former anorexic or bulimic person who is now… well… let’s just say… creating a huge following for being a recovered anorexic or bulimic person. What a brand! To be honest, I was a bit turned off to see how much she is promoting her products. She promotes what she wears, a book, a journal, podcast versions of her blogs… always promoting. It actually kinda feels exploitive playing off of the ole poor me I was a victim… Can I say that?

BUT, power to you girly! I just got this really uncomfortable feeling when I was browsing her website. I only found her website because she gave me a random like on one of my posts. Now why would you like one of my posts? It felt like I got the like from her so I would notice her and then maybe add a +1 follower to that HUGE following that she already has. Is that how she got so many followers by fishing lonely and mentally unstable souls such as myself?

Here’s more… she is a self-proclaimed Christian and VIRGIN. I’m cool with the Christian part because politically I’m supposed to be. But the VIRGIN THING?… TMI dude. The worst part about her site in my honest and humble opinion that NOBODY asked for is that she has ways where you can donate money (you know, because you want to support the cause of former recovering people)… AND THEN YOU SEE HER TAKING PHOTOS ON HER TRIP TO SPAIN. WHAT THE F*CK? Did these suckers really just fund her trip to Spain and now she’s showing you photo evidence that you are a dumbass who funded her trip? WOW! Well played… well played indeed.

-WORST LIFE COACH

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