I Appreciate My Secret Readers

Let’s face it… my content might be a bit… much. Not so bad, but you know… not so politically correct at times. I also probably come across crazy at times too. I’m ok with it. I’m not the only one. I just want you to know that I do appreciate the secret views. I don’t care much about stats but I do see them. I see a lot of views and not so much interaction. That’s cool. I wouldn’t “like” what I write either. But, I would probably sneak in a few reads from some wacky a$$ unstable life coach. Just like you’re doing right now. For those of you who do like or comment on my content, give yourselves a hand. You really don’t give a f**** about what people think. You’re not afraid to be seen with me. Well done. You are winning at life. I mean it.

-WORST LIFE COACH

Let The Studying BEGIN – WORST LIFE COACH

I just signed up to take my Coaching Certificate Exam. This basically means if I pass this exam I get a certificate that says I’m a bada$$ boss mothaf***ing life coach. It will be great for business. I’ve never been a great test taker but I won’t say I’m a bad one. So tonight marks the first night that I am officially starting to study for my test. I’mma kill this thing. I just have to actually study instead of play video games.

-WORST LIFE COACH

I Might Be Gay For Pay – WORST LIFE COACH

Um so, this is a bit of an awkward confession. I have a client who is gay. I’m totally cool with that. Money from gay people spends like anyone else. But, I found myself in the restroom PEEING in a urinal and my client walks up and starts peeing in the urinal next to me. I don’t have my own bathroom because my coaching office is in a public building. Anyway, so he starts talking to me mid-stream saying how happy he is to be working with me. I can tell in my peripheral vision that as he is talking to my p*nis. What the f**k? I play it cool, engage in the small talk, zip the f**k up and walk out. The next time I see him I don’t say anything about it. He still sees me every week and pays me well. The truth is, I don’t totally mind as long as I get paid. What does that say about me?

-WORST LIFE COACH

F*** YOU JAYLOR YOU F***ING C*NT

Jaylor is the c*** a$$ mof***ER who works for apple that denied me tonight. What the f*** kind of name is Jaylor you b*tch. I hope that’s your real name so I don’t have to curse you, you’re already cursed.

Ya. Sorry but f*** that guy. My girlfriend was playing a game on my phone and it did an in-app purchase that cost me $49.99. I got on the chatline with apple support to tell them that the purchase was a mistake and he basically told me to go f*** myself.

I am determined to get my refund, go back into that chat, make fun of his name, tell him to go f*ck himself and then go to the store to buy ice cream and sugar free cookies.

That’s my mission tomorrow. I have to be super nice suave dawve guy to whoever I talk to on the phone so I’m venting my $hit here. Worst case scenario I’m calling my credit card company and telling them it’s a fraudulent charge that apple won’t make right. F*** Jaylor I hope you die motherf***ER.

-WORST LIFE COACH

I Feel Like Closing My Coaching Biz – WORST LIFE COACH

Yea. I average 20-25 hours a week and made *** last year… **k short of my goal. That’s more money than I have ever made in my life and I basically work part time. I do get tired of the people though. Well, it’s not the people… I just miss spending time with my girlfriend. It’s hard on her too. We could sell our house and downgrade into a camper and live for a long time without doing much. That sounds cool but then having a house and living how we do is cool too. At least to me it is. I love my life with her. It sucks to be away. I’ve been doing LONG A$$ coaching days. Again, the money is great but some days I think about closing up my business. I don’t know what I would do instead. I have a pretty lucrative thing going. Hmm… I need to hire some coaches to work for me. But that will be a while. I don’t know what the solution is. I feel like I should be grateful but then I feel like I just want to do nothing and hang out with my girlfriend. Can’t have my cake and eat it too? Well $hit.

-WORST LIFE COACH

Would You Tell Someone With RBF They Have RBF? RESTING B*TCH FACE -WORST LIFE COACH

Yo, it’s been a while. I’m eating pasta that my girlfriend made for me. It’s been nuts to say the least. There have been a lot of health scares in the past couple months since I’ve been here. I won’t get into it because for the most part all is well. Anyway, there’s the lady at the gym who has RBF… for real. She literally looks like she is smelling something bad ALL THE TIME. I wonder if she knows. I want to tell her that she has RBF to help her. When I left the gym I made it a point to say, hey… have a good day! She tried smiling but the RBF was too real. She again looked like there was a bad smell in the room… or on her upper lip. I think I should leave this one alone.

-WORST LIFE COACH

Less Clients = Party Time

Life sure is interesting. It’s so unpredictable yet we do what we can to curb the unpredictability of it all – or at least I do. I let go of something today. I let go of caring how many coaching clients I will see this week. It’s slow… this week… so what! And, it hasn’t even been slow overall. I’ve been killing it! This business ebbs and flows. I realized today that I cannot let my moods be determined by the weather. I am not living to work. Life should mean more to me than how my business is doing any given week. I’m scheduling my coaching clients into 3 days this week and planning to do some cool $h*t with my girlfriend. Those are the memories I will remember when I’m old anyway.

-WORST LIFE COACH

The Antagonist In Me Found A Home Here on WP -WORST LIFE COACH

I’m starting to write these posts on my phone at night. It’s relaxing and it feels meaningful that I have a sacred space of sorts to explore my thoughts, behaviors and feelings. There are times on this blog where I feel it is maybe too easy to express the darker and more manipulative or deviant side of my character as a person who happened to find a “decent enough for now” position in the niche field of life coaching. The reality is I have always been quite the antagonist – a sh*t starter. I think a part of me relishes in the ability to “rub people the wrong way” and get away with it.

I can’t be like this in my work or personal life. If I antagonize the world around me my world starts to fall apart – but it’s so much a part of my personality. In this place (blogworld) where I can write freely, I feel very much at ease knowing that a space like this even exists. I can just be me – whoever that is at this ungodly hour that I should be sleeping.

-WORST LIFE COACH

An Honest Reflection About BRAIN WASHING -WORST LIFE COACH

I am convincing one of my coaching clients to stay in a job that she hates. Why you ask? Because if she quits then she won’t be able to afford to still see me. I know this sounds pretty bad but the reality is… I need her to keep seeing me so I can afford nice things. I just booked a trip for 12 nights in Las Vegas next month. Should I feel bad about this? Maybe… probably. But I don’t. I can’t. I would feel even worse if I couldn’t afford a nice vacation so… there it is. Today was a good day.

I saw 7 coaching clients today and each one went very well. It’s interesting because when I am working with these people I am always thinking… “What can I say to make sure they come back to see me next week?” It’s the nature of the business I guess. It’s like brainwashing in a way. I don’t think many Life Coaches will be this honest. I guess that is the beauty of being anonymous. I can be honest.

At my coaching office, I try to make EVERYTHING as routine as possible – from the method of payment, to the parking, to the temperature in the room. I find that the less unpredictable variables there are the more likely I can create a routine for these people. I think I should stop writing at this point. I am feeling kind of creepy being so honest.

-WORST LIFE COACH

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