I Appreciate My Secret Readers

Let’s face it… my content might be a bit… much. Not so bad, but you know… not so politically correct at times. I also probably come across crazy at times too. I’m ok with it. I’m not the only one. I just want you to know that I do appreciate the secret views. I don’t care much about stats but I do see them. I see a lot of views and not so much interaction. That’s cool. I wouldn’t “like” what I write either. But, I would probably sneak in a few reads from some wacky a$$ unstable life coach. Just like you’re doing right now. For those of you who do like or comment on my content, give yourselves a hand. You really don’t give a f**** about what people think. You’re not afraid to be seen with me. Well done. You are winning at life. I mean it.

-WORST LIFE COACH

I Might Be Gay For Pay – WORST LIFE COACH

Um so, this is a bit of an awkward confession. I have a client who is gay. I’m totally cool with that. Money from gay people spends like anyone else. But, I found myself in the restroom PEEING in a urinal and my client walks up and starts peeing in the urinal next to me. I don’t have my own bathroom because my coaching office is in a public building. Anyway, so he starts talking to me mid-stream saying how happy he is to be working with me. I can tell in my peripheral vision that as he is talking to my p*nis. What the f**k? I play it cool, engage in the small talk, zip the f**k up and walk out. The next time I see him I don’t say anything about it. He still sees me every week and pays me well. The truth is, I don’t totally mind as long as I get paid. What does that say about me?

-WORST LIFE COACH

F*** YOU JAYLOR YOU F***ING C*NT

Jaylor is the c*** a$$ mof***ER who works for apple that denied me tonight. What the f*** kind of name is Jaylor you b*tch. I hope that’s your real name so I don’t have to curse you, you’re already cursed.

Ya. Sorry but f*** that guy. My girlfriend was playing a game on my phone and it did an in-app purchase that cost me $49.99. I got on the chatline with apple support to tell them that the purchase was a mistake and he basically told me to go f*** myself.

I am determined to get my refund, go back into that chat, make fun of his name, tell him to go f*ck himself and then go to the store to buy ice cream and sugar free cookies.

That’s my mission tomorrow. I have to be super nice suave dawve guy to whoever I talk to on the phone so I’m venting my $hit here. Worst case scenario I’m calling my credit card company and telling them it’s a fraudulent charge that apple won’t make right. F*** Jaylor I hope you die motherf***ER.

-WORST LIFE COACH

Would You Tell Someone With RBF They Have RBF? RESTING B*TCH FACE -WORST LIFE COACH

Yo, it’s been a while. I’m eating pasta that my girlfriend made for me. It’s been nuts to say the least. There have been a lot of health scares in the past couple months since I’ve been here. I won’t get into it because for the most part all is well. Anyway, there’s the lady at the gym who has RBF… for real. She literally looks like she is smelling something bad ALL THE TIME. I wonder if she knows. I want to tell her that she has RBF to help her. When I left the gym I made it a point to say, hey… have a good day! She tried smiling but the RBF was too real. She again looked like there was a bad smell in the room… or on her upper lip. I think I should leave this one alone.

-WORST LIFE COACH

An Honest Reflection About BRAIN WASHING -WORST LIFE COACH

I am convincing one of my coaching clients to stay in a job that she hates. Why you ask? Because if she quits then she won’t be able to afford to still see me. I know this sounds pretty bad but the reality is… I need her to keep seeing me so I can afford nice things. I just booked a trip for 12 nights in Las Vegas next month. Should I feel bad about this? Maybe… probably. But I don’t. I can’t. I would feel even worse if I couldn’t afford a nice vacation so… there it is. Today was a good day.

I saw 7 coaching clients today and each one went very well. It’s interesting because when I am working with these people I am always thinking… “What can I say to make sure they come back to see me next week?” It’s the nature of the business I guess. It’s like brainwashing in a way. I don’t think many Life Coaches will be this honest. I guess that is the beauty of being anonymous. I can be honest.

At my coaching office, I try to make EVERYTHING as routine as possible – from the method of payment, to the parking, to the temperature in the room. I find that the less unpredictable variables there are the more likely I can create a routine for these people. I think I should stop writing at this point. I am feeling kind of creepy being so honest.

-WORST LIFE COACH

I Am Actually Reading A Book -WORST LIFE COACH

My therapist recommended that I read a book called “A Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl. I don’t read… ever. But, I found the book online in a PDF version and I started reading it today. I was glued to it! I read about 35 pages which is more than I have read probably in the last year. It’s definitely the furthest I have gotten in any book probably in my life. I don’t like to read. Anyhow, in this book I am reading about how Viktor Frankl basically lived through the Nazi concentration camp. That’s so f***ed up what the Germans did.

My takeaway so far from the 35 pages or so that I have read is that I am really really lucky to be where I am in life. Of course, there is more that I want to achieve and more that I want to conquer. But wow… at least I am not going through what Mr. Frankl went through. I really have no place to complain about my life even though my therapist would probably say I still need to validate my feelings. My girlfriend would say shut the f*** up and stop being a b****. I think both viewpoints are valid – especially for someone like me.

In other news, I went to the doctor today to do blood work. They are checking me over in case I have any need to be concerned about my health because of my Dad’s recent diagnosis. So far the results I received say that I am healthy as an ox – knock on wood. I have 7 coaching clients tomorrow but I don’t start until about 2pm. I have the best schedule. I am thankful for my life. I need to stop focusing on the negative and be appreciative for what I have. So far, the book I am reading is helping me do just that.

-WORST LIFE COACH

This Is My Life aka F***ED UP -WORST LIFE COACH

My rollerblades broke. How the f*** do rollerblades break like this? My girlfriend keeps telling me she is allergic to losers. I can’t beat this one level in a zombie game on my PS4 and she practically won’t talk to me. I just got the lecture about how she hates losers and how I need to beat the level. Jeesh. At least she keeps me motivated. In other news, it’s been a long week. I’ve been feeling depressed because of my dad’s health issues. I’m trying not to think about it but it does weigh on me. I’ve been wanting to slow down my coaching business but I really like making money. Money is the best. At the same time, I’ve just been feeling heavy and I don’t want it to interfere with my coaching. I really hope I can beat that stupid level in my zombie game. I hate to lose too. Something I have been feeling guilty about is that I tell all of my coaching clients that I also see a life coach. I don’t. But it makes my clients feel good to think that I also pay someone to help me “be my best self.” I will pretty much do whatever it takes to get them to come back.

-WORST LIFE COACH

So What Now? -WORST LIFE COACH

I am at a place in my life where I am actually happy. Or at least, happier than I could have ever once imagined I could be. Of course, there are ebbs and flows but at the core of it all I am content with the way my days have been going. I spend a lot of time trying to grow my coaching business. In fact, I am addicted to growing my coaching business. I don’t have a ton of other interests. I love spending time with my girlfriend, listening to music, exercising, and working on my business. But I am at a place now where I am unsure as to what I am supposed to do next. I eventually accomplish the goals that I set for myself based on my opinion about the past. So, it’s almost like I can’t let myself be obsessed about whether or not something will succeed or fail because for the most part it always works out. It feels like I need something else… something other than my coaching biz to be obsessed about. I think it needs to be something deep… something spiritual… I just don’t know. Maybe I should try meditating. I am always telling my coaching clients that meditation changed my life because it helped me take a deeper look at myself. I really don’t know much about meditation.

-WORST LIFE COACH

I Was Dragged Into a Drag Show -WORST LIFE COACH

 

Um… So I went out tonight by myself. I like to do that from time to time. I really love to dance. My girlfriend says I look like a spazz when I dance but, I like it. Anyhow, there I was at this dance place that I go to sometimes. It was my third choice of the night. The other two places were even worse. Anyway, so there I was… dancing to some decent music and then all of a sudden this drag queen gets up on stage and announces that he? she? not sure… that they were going to be doing a show. What the f***?

At first I thought it was a crazy person. And then I realized that this was really happening. So this weirdo drag lady started dancing and singing while everyone on the dance floor stood confused. Then I realized there were a couple other drag people who were there and they would be performing too. This performance looked like basically… dancing and then rolling on the floor on the dance floor looking seductive. That’s what they did pretty much. It was f***ing awkward. I took some video to share with you guys.

As you can see in the video, there is a guy who pretty much looks as confused as I felt tonight. I zoomed in on him. Here’s the thing, I have NOTHING against drag queens or people that well… do weird sh*t. But I DO have something against any a$$hole who stops the party to act really f***ing awkward. Best of luck to you in your career drag lady dude. I am not sure how you will be defining success on your journey to stardom but either way I hope I never see your f***ing weird a$$ again.

-WORST LIFE COACH

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