Let The Studying BEGIN – WORST LIFE COACH

I just signed up to take my Coaching Certificate Exam. This basically means if I pass this exam I get a certificate that says I’m a bada$$ boss mothaf***ing life coach. It will be great for business. I’ve never been a great test taker but I won’t say I’m a bad one. So tonight marks the first night that I am officially starting to study for my test. I’mma kill this thing. I just have to actually study instead of play video games.

-WORST LIFE COACH

I Might Be Gay For Pay – WORST LIFE COACH

Um so, this is a bit of an awkward confession. I have a client who is gay. I’m totally cool with that. Money from gay people spends like anyone else. But, I found myself in the restroom PEEING in a urinal and my client walks up and starts peeing in the urinal next to me. I don’t have my own bathroom because my coaching office is in a public building. Anyway, so he starts talking to me mid-stream saying how happy he is to be working with me. I can tell in my peripheral vision that as he is talking to my p*nis. What the f**k? I play it cool, engage in the small talk, zip the f**k up and walk out. The next time I see him I don’t say anything about it. He still sees me every week and pays me well. The truth is, I don’t totally mind as long as I get paid. What does that say about me?

-WORST LIFE COACH

F*** YOU JAYLOR YOU F***ING C*NT

Jaylor is the c*** a$$ mof***ER who works for apple that denied me tonight. What the f*** kind of name is Jaylor you b*tch. I hope that’s your real name so I don’t have to curse you, you’re already cursed.

Ya. Sorry but f*** that guy. My girlfriend was playing a game on my phone and it did an in-app purchase that cost me $49.99. I got on the chatline with apple support to tell them that the purchase was a mistake and he basically told me to go f*** myself.

I am determined to get my refund, go back into that chat, make fun of his name, tell him to go f*ck himself and then go to the store to buy ice cream and sugar free cookies.

That’s my mission tomorrow. I have to be super nice suave dawve guy to whoever I talk to on the phone so I’m venting my $hit here. Worst case scenario I’m calling my credit card company and telling them it’s a fraudulent charge that apple won’t make right. F*** Jaylor I hope you die motherf***ER.

-WORST LIFE COACH

I Feel Like Closing My Coaching Biz – WORST LIFE COACH

Yea. I average 20-25 hours a week and made *** last year… **k short of my goal. That’s more money than I have ever made in my life and I basically work part time. I do get tired of the people though. Well, it’s not the people… I just miss spending time with my girlfriend. It’s hard on her too. We could sell our house and downgrade into a camper and live for a long time without doing much. That sounds cool but then having a house and living how we do is cool too. At least to me it is. I love my life with her. It sucks to be away. I’ve been doing LONG A$$ coaching days. Again, the money is great but some days I think about closing up my business. I don’t know what I would do instead. I have a pretty lucrative thing going. Hmm… I need to hire some coaches to work for me. But that will be a while. I don’t know what the solution is. I feel like I should be grateful but then I feel like I just want to do nothing and hang out with my girlfriend. Can’t have my cake and eat it too? Well $hit.

-WORST LIFE COACH

JESUS/GOD BLOGGERS ARE JUST LAZY – WORST LIFE COACH

I have been wanting to write this post for a while now. But I haven’t because it’s not that important to me. I think that people who write blogs only or even mostly about God and Jesus are just lazy f*cking a$$holes. What topic is easier to write about than your faith and the Bible? Trust me, I am not some atheist d*ckhead, I am just a person who recognizes a lack of creativity when I see it. Anyone can quote a Bible verse and talk sh*t about how someone else is not doing this or that. I see these folks on YouTube and Periscope too. Let me PREACH to you! Let me pray for you! Let me tell you God’s message! Yes, I get it… it’s part of the religion to do that. But seriously, couldn’t it just be that you are just some egotistical pr*ck who isn’t creative enough to say something more creative than “Believe in the most HIGH.” Again, it’s important I point out that I am not anti-religion, anti-God, anti-anything. All I am saying is that if all you blog about is God stuff, Bible verses etc… you’re just being lazy. Anyone can f***ing do that. Be more creative people.

PS I know this post is a bit much to give a “like” or “comment.” Stay PC people. Just know that I know you might agree.

If this post is about you – I guess you’re going to unfollow me now. But, I hope you take this as an opportunity to take a look at yourself. Cheers

-WORST LIFE COACH

PEEKABOO MOTHAF##$ERS -WORST LIFE COACH

So I guess I lost interest. How typical of me. I kept thinking about writing. I thought about it most days actually. I just couldn’t find it in me to give a $h*t to write. Don’t worry, it’s not you. I just haven’t seen any reason to write. Who am I writing for? I said I was writing for myself. I guess I need to do that. Life is going pretty well. I really can’t complain. Well, I could. I can always complain. My girlfriend says I get that from my dad. He’s super f***in negative. I can be super negative. I guess I learned it. Who knows. My coaching practice is doing pretty well. I’m making money and that’s always good. It’s better than living in my parents basement.. Humble beginnings that’s for sure.

Excatfish, my dad is doing good. He’s responding to the medication so he’s pretty much doing as well as he was before all of it went down. It’s kind of weird actually. I’m just staying hopeful that the medication will continue to work. Thanks for asking. I hope you’re doing well and sorry I’ve been MIA. I need to keep writing. I know it’s good for me.

Anyhow, that’s all for now. I don’t have any stories for you this time around. Maybe I’ll be back. Maybe not. Stay good people.

-WORST LIFE COACH

Less Clients = Party Time

Life sure is interesting. It’s so unpredictable yet we do what we can to curb the unpredictability of it all – or at least I do. I let go of something today. I let go of caring how many coaching clients I will see this week. It’s slow… this week… so what! And, it hasn’t even been slow overall. I’ve been killing it! This business ebbs and flows. I realized today that I cannot let my moods be determined by the weather. I am not living to work. Life should mean more to me than how my business is doing any given week. I’m scheduling my coaching clients into 3 days this week and planning to do some cool $h*t with my girlfriend. Those are the memories I will remember when I’m old anyway.

-WORST LIFE COACH

The Antagonist In Me Found A Home Here on WP -WORST LIFE COACH

I’m starting to write these posts on my phone at night. It’s relaxing and it feels meaningful that I have a sacred space of sorts to explore my thoughts, behaviors and feelings. There are times on this blog where I feel it is maybe too easy to express the darker and more manipulative or deviant side of my character as a person who happened to find a “decent enough for now” position in the niche field of life coaching. The reality is I have always been quite the antagonist – a sh*t starter. I think a part of me relishes in the ability to “rub people the wrong way” and get away with it.

I can’t be like this in my work or personal life. If I antagonize the world around me my world starts to fall apart – but it’s so much a part of my personality. In this place (blogworld) where I can write freely, I feel very much at ease knowing that a space like this even exists. I can just be me – whoever that is at this ungodly hour that I should be sleeping.

-WORST LIFE COACH

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