Let The Studying BEGIN – WORST LIFE COACH

I just signed up to take my Coaching Certificate Exam. This basically means if I pass this exam I get a certificate that says I’m a bada$$ boss mothaf***ing life coach. It will be great for business. I’ve never been a great test taker but I won’t say I’m a bad one. So tonight marks the first night that I am officially starting to study for my test. I’mma kill this thing. I just have to actually study instead of play video games.

-WORST LIFE COACH

I Might Be Gay For Pay – WORST LIFE COACH

Um so, this is a bit of an awkward confession. I have a client who is gay. I’m totally cool with that. Money from gay people spends like anyone else. But, I found myself in the restroom PEEING in a urinal and my client walks up and starts peeing in the urinal next to me. I don’t have my own bathroom because my coaching office is in a public building. Anyway, so he starts talking to me mid-stream saying how happy he is to be working with me. I can tell in my peripheral vision that as he is talking to my p*nis. What the f**k? I play it cool, engage in the small talk, zip the f**k up and walk out. The next time I see him I don’t say anything about it. He still sees me every week and pays me well. The truth is, I don’t totally mind as long as I get paid. What does that say about me?

-WORST LIFE COACH

F*** YOU JAYLOR YOU F***ING C*NT

Jaylor is the c*** a$$ mof***ER who works for apple that denied me tonight. What the f*** kind of name is Jaylor you b*tch. I hope that’s your real name so I don’t have to curse you, you’re already cursed.

Ya. Sorry but f*** that guy. My girlfriend was playing a game on my phone and it did an in-app purchase that cost me $49.99. I got on the chatline with apple support to tell them that the purchase was a mistake and he basically told me to go f*** myself.

I am determined to get my refund, go back into that chat, make fun of his name, tell him to go f*ck himself and then go to the store to buy ice cream and sugar free cookies.

That’s my mission tomorrow. I have to be super nice suave dawve guy to whoever I talk to on the phone so I’m venting my $hit here. Worst case scenario I’m calling my credit card company and telling them it’s a fraudulent charge that apple won’t make right. F*** Jaylor I hope you die motherf***ER.

-WORST LIFE COACH

I Feel Like Closing My Coaching Biz – WORST LIFE COACH

Yea. I average 20-25 hours a week and made *** last year… **k short of my goal. That’s more money than I have ever made in my life and I basically work part time. I do get tired of the people though. Well, it’s not the people… I just miss spending time with my girlfriend. It’s hard on her too. We could sell our house and downgrade into a camper and live for a long time without doing much. That sounds cool but then having a house and living how we do is cool too. At least to me it is. I love my life with her. It sucks to be away. I’ve been doing LONG A$$ coaching days. Again, the money is great but some days I think about closing up my business. I don’t know what I would do instead. I have a pretty lucrative thing going. Hmm… I need to hire some coaches to work for me. But that will be a while. I don’t know what the solution is. I feel like I should be grateful but then I feel like I just want to do nothing and hang out with my girlfriend. Can’t have my cake and eat it too? Well $hit.

-WORST LIFE COACH

JESUS/GOD BLOGGERS ARE JUST LAZY – WORST LIFE COACH

I have been wanting to write this post for a while now. But I haven’t because it’s not that important to me. I think that people who write blogs only or even mostly about God and Jesus are just lazy f*cking a$$holes. What topic is easier to write about than your faith and the Bible? Trust me, I am not some atheist d*ckhead, I am just a person who recognizes a lack of creativity when I see it. Anyone can quote a Bible verse and talk sh*t about how someone else is not doing this or that. I see these folks on YouTube and Periscope too. Let me PREACH to you! Let me pray for you! Let me tell you God’s message! Yes, I get it… it’s part of the religion to do that. But seriously, couldn’t it just be that you are just some egotistical pr*ck who isn’t creative enough to say something more creative than “Believe in the most HIGH.” Again, it’s important I point out that I am not anti-religion, anti-God, anti-anything. All I am saying is that if all you blog about is God stuff, Bible verses etc… you’re just being lazy. Anyone can f***ing do that. Be more creative people.

PS I know this post is a bit much to give a “like” or “comment.” Stay PC people. Just know that I know you might agree.

If this post is about you – I guess you’re going to unfollow me now. But, I hope you take this as an opportunity to take a look at yourself. Cheers

-WORST LIFE COACH

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

Create your website at WordPress.com
Get started