Hi. I wasn’t going to write tonight because I am tired AF (using that millennial slang). AF = AS F*** for you oldies who are reading. First off… it’s not that common that one of my coaching clients will be so emotional. I am always telling them that this isn’t therapy where you “process” $hit… this is coaching where I kick your a$$ into being awesome… also known as – that place where I take your money while convincing you that you will achieve more than you actually will or where I tell you that you’re better than you actually are. It’s all a con anyway… but isn’t everything? So there she is… balling her eyes out in front of me about how her sister suddenly died and I am sitting across from her thinking about when the best time will be to release the burp that I am holding in. In that moment I reflected on my life… I want to say I had a profound reflective moment. I started thinking deeply as she was crying… I was thinking about myself… mainly because it’s mostly about me… or always about me if you ask my girlfriend. As soon as she threw her face into her hands and sobbed profusely I let out that burp I was holding in as stealthily as possible. I got away with it. But then… I wondered again to myself … shouldn’t I be feeling something for her? Nah, I told myself. Just get paid, said the voice in my head.
-WORST LIFE COACH