I Need Therapy and I am Going Tomorrow -WORST LIFE COACH

I am going to therapy tomorrow. I am going because I think it will be helpful. I am a much happier person than I feel like I have been acting lately, especially since my dad was diagnosed with his illness. I don’t have many expectations other than I expect myself to show up on time. I was almost not going to go because the past few days have been pretty good. But then today I dipped a little bit into that darker space. I think it was the sugar from the honey I had with my tea in the morning. Either way, for accountability sake I am going to go.

I’ve actually done therapy at different points in my life and found it helpful. It’s just hard to find a therapist who is the right “fit” for me. Well, maybe that’s not true. I only had one I didn’t like. She was an asian lady with a strong asian accent. Poor thing. I never went back and avoided her when she reached out. Hopefully that isn’t how tomorrow goes.

It’s weird when I think that you can either accept and love life fully or reject it and just be bitter. My dad chose the second approach – bitter and negative. There are days when I accept life and love it even though it’s harder emotionally because letting go of something you love hurts. Then there are days I’m at odds with the world and myself and feel almost comforted by the predictability of the negativity. It’s easy to predict a bad day… just be an a$$hole and the world reflects it back at you.

I am faced with the challenge of accepting and even embracing life, love and goodness while fully and painfully being aware of the finite-ness of it all. I think of the Dr. Seus quote – “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” I am sorry Dad but I have to break the chain of bitter negativity. I know you learned it from Grandpa and he learned it too. But F**** THAT SH*T. I’m going to therapy tomorrow to WHOOP NEGATIVITY’S A$$ so I can love harder and be ok with my losses.

-WORST LIFE COACH

What If Your Life Coach is BIPOLAR & AUTISTIC AF?👍🏼🤪👌🏼🤬👎🏼😩🖕🏼- WORST LIFE COACH

Life is good. It has ups and downs but for the most part life is good. I know that not everyone might relate to that statement. I know on some days recently I have felt quite the opposite actually. I realize that this is because of fear. The most primal feeling we have is fear… it’s at least one of the more emotive feelings. But even though we need it, it sure can f*** things up if you focus on it. The dust is settling and I am looking at my life more as an observer than someone who is living and breathing it. It looks pretty good. I have more security in my life than ever. I see a lot of potential growth and rivers to cross but that’s just part of the journey. Maybe I need to slow down and stop thinking that I need to finish that next thing and instead relish in the moment of “I haven’t done it yet.” When I really think about it, once I accomplish my goals, then what? Then it’s over. Well, not over exactly but… I won’t get to relive that moment. I won’t have that challenge to summon the best me I can be. That’s kind of sad actually. Why rush this then? That being said, I am dedicating myself to slowing down. Or at the very least, I am setting that intention here and now. Slow down and appreciate your life. Stay in the positive. One day you will miss the challenges that once instilled fear in you and f***ed up your day.

-WORST LIFE COACH

Sleep Deprived – WORST LIFE COACH

You’re back. I am too. I finished another week strong, ending with 23 coaching clients this week. I actually had 3 or 4 no-shows this week. It’s ok because I still get paid. I also finished up with two coaching clients this week. “Finishing up” means they are ready to be finished using my services. That’s a good thing and it’s not. It’s good because they are ready to face the world on their own. It’s bad because I won’t be making money… from them at least. That’s ok. It’s part of the business. Tonight was very relaxing. It has been a rough week with my girlfriend being down for the count from her allergies. It was nice to just “be.” I took an over the counter sleeping pill to help me sleep tonight. My sleeping pattern has been pretty bad. Hopefully I can jump start it back to a better rhythm.

So far the sleeping pill isn’t working. My girlfriend is asleep next to me. I am listening to some soothing Native American flute music in my earpiece. Ya… I’m not tired yet. Hmm… not sure what to do.

I Am Teaching People They Don’t Need Friends -WORST LIFE COACH

There is this weird phenomenon I noticed today when working with a coaching client. Well, before we get into that… let’s start with, today was a long a$$ day. My poor girlfriend is still getting over the allergic reaction she had. We had to take her to the ER and they gave her some meds that messed her up worse. What the hell. Well, they still helped us so we can’t be totally upset. While I have been at my office she has been home working through her discomfort. I have 5 or 6 coaching sessions tomorrow and then I am done for the week. I can’t wait. I hate leaving her home by herself but she has been doing great. She is slowly getting better which is the number one best sign.

Ok, back to the phenomenon… I realized that pretty much all of my coaching clients after working with me for a while end up not having friends. The reason for this is usually related to my idea – why mess around with friends when you can be maximizing your potential. So, they end up ditching their friends and then um… being alone. I realized today that maybe this is more of a personal thing and I probably shouldn’t be telling my coaching clients to live by this idea. The truth is I don’t have many friends. I think it’s part of my self diagnosed autism. I’m happier by myself or with my girlfriend. I think it is also because I am awkward AF (when I am not in coaching mode). Regardless of my reasoning I probably should be more careful with what I teach my coaching clients 🤔

-WORST LIFE COACH

I Did A Coaching Session Without Even Listening -WORST LIFE COACH

Hi. Nice to see you again. So I had 7 coaching clients today all of which went very well. During one of my coaching sessions one of my client’s connection kept cutting in and out to the point where I couldn’t even hear what she was saying or even trying to say. At first I just faked it. I smiled and replied with, “Yes… hmm I see.” I was going to interrupt her so she could hang up and call me back. But, I noticed that well… it seemed she didn’t notice that I was just pretending to know what she was saying. I kept doing that for almost 15… maybe 20 minutes of our session and we wrapped up and ended. I could hear what she was saying enough to do much of the session without knowing what she said. Isn’t that weird? What does that say about  what I am even doing with my clients!? The thing is… she hung up happy, smiling (it’s video chat) and looking forward to seeing me again next week. It was weird to think that all I am is a smiling face that exists to simply agree with whatever madness you’re saying. Oh well. It could be worse I suppose.

-WORST LIFE COACH

I’m Better When I’m Writing -WORST LIFE COACH

I have a theory. I am better when I am writing. Today went really well. My girlfriend has been fighting some major allergies which has been pretty horrible for her. But, other than that it was a great day. I had some good coaching sessions… made some MUN and was overall very productive.

Tomorrow I think I have 7 or 8 coaching sessions but I don’t start until 2:30pm and work late into the evening. I love sleeping in… doing a nice wake n bake (with a vaporizer) and then heading to my office. It’s a good life. I just need to stay away from sugar because that’s when I get bipolar and everything gets f***ed. So far so good.

-WORST LIFE COACH

I Almost F****ED UP EVERYTHING -WORST LIFE COACH

So it is no surprise that I have been at an all time low in the onset of my recently developed depressed as sh*t mood. Oh and I’ve been eating a lot of icecream… A LOT. This gives me incredibly bad mood swings. This all started when I found out about my Dad’s illness almost a month ago. That messed me up good because I was so sad and in shock that it shook me out of balance. That’s what my girlfriend thinks and I agree.

So I’ve been very detached at home and it’s been really hard on our relationship to the point it almost ended😳. Holy hell that would ruin my life and hers too. I won’t go into gory details because I’m sure you’ve been there. If you haven’t… It’s hell but don’t give up. Well, if it’s really really bad, give up. My girlfriend and I are not bad. We are actually great for each other. I’ve just not been myself. So I decided I’m going to see a therapist. I already booked my first appointment. I guess this is what responsible adults do.

PS… honey I know you’re reading this… I love you!!! 💘💘💘

-WORST LIFE COACH

My Coaching Client Is Really Really Special -WORST LIFE COACH

Hi. I was going name this post, “My Coaching Client Has Down Syndrome.” But, I am not trying to attract that kind of attention. That kind of attention being anyone who is going to talk crap to me, which really can be anyone. I don’t know for sure that my coaching client has down syndrome. But he has something. He’s 36 years old and lives with his parents. His parents, are in denial about what he is actually capable of, which is not much. I think they might be special too. Yea, they are special too. The parents are convinced that my coaching client can become some self-made “internet video star.” That’s what the parents are calling it… internet video star. I don’t even think they know about YouTube.

So, what did my coaching client and I do today? We played video games on a laptop together. We took turns and competed in who could get the highest score on one game. It was pretty fun. So fun that I totally forgot that I was getting paid. And if you know about my poverty mindset money problems from reading one of my other posts then you know that’s actually a pretty big deal. But wait a minute. The point is that this guy is supposed to become a mega superstar on YouTube and I am THE GUY who is going to make that happen.

So how do I feel about playing video games with my coaching client knowing that well… I’m playing videos with my coaching client and getting paid…? I feel awesome. He’s one of my favorite customers actually. There is no hassle from the parents because they are special. There is no hassle from him because he’s having fun playing video games with me. Maybe I will take my PlayStation 4 to his next session. I wonder if he like’s Call of Duty.

-WORST LIFE COACH

I Know Why I Had Writer’s Block -WORST LIFE COACH

I tried to blame it on that lady who left the rude comment. That wasn’t why. I wrote some posts on here and got some pretty cool feedback. It seems that some of you enjoy my perspective on how I approach my life. That’s cool and I do appreciate that. At the same time when I started this blog it was supposed to be a place for me to explore the good and the bad of my life. What it turned into was me sharing funny and awkward experiences that happen to me in life. There’s always something in that department to share but it’s again, not why I am here.

Right now in my life I am angry. I am angry because someone very close to me is ill with something that they may not recover from. I am angry because I have never experienced anything like this before. I am angry because for the first time in my life I am having to come to terms with the fact that I, and everyone that I love and even hate… are all going to die. It’s f***ed up. I am realizing now more than ever in my life that life is fleeting. And, the truth is… I don’t know what to do about it.

Here’s what I have been doing. I’ve been distracting myself a lot. I have been avoiding things a lot. My girlfriend points it out to me and it’s just hard to hear. I end up disconnecting and not even knowing that I am disconnecting. It’s awful. On top of that I have a whole group of people who come to me to talk about what they are going through in their own life and as their coach, I am supposed to have answers.

I guess it’s just a lot right now. The main thing that needs to happen today is that I remember that this blog was never meant to be a place where I grow a brand. F*** that. I don’t need it. This is my space to write and express whatever it is that I am going through in order to help myself make sense out of it. There, that’s it.

-WORST LIFE COACH

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