This is not a joke. If I am honest, when I am in session with my clients… I am just pretending. I am pretending to be this person that represents a “LIFE COACH.” What does that even mean? My clients assume that I know more than they do about EVERYTHING. That’s so stupid. I have little to no education. I just know how to smile and nod and ask open ended questions. Let me add that to the ability to tell you positive things about yourself and get you to feel encouraged. That’s all I do. I look at you, smile and nod… sometimes frown… and then tell you that you can do it because you are special. You have something inside of you that very few people have. And trust me, I know this because I have a ton of clients and out of every one of them, you are special. That’s just not true. It’s just what I will tell you.
HOW FREAKIN WEIRD. And then you pay me, feel better, and then tell your friends. Sometimes I am so tired in there that I will reach up to adjust my glasses and yawn behind my hand. My clients get so caught up in themselves and just talking that it’s like I don’t even need to be there. And then when they do look at me, I look deep into their eyes and let them know with my micro expressions that not only am I listening to them, I truly care about them. I hope this doesn’t make me sound like a mean person. I am just describing the nature of what it means to be a life coach. It’s so easy.
I am learning to be ok with the job. I don’t even think about it really. I just sit, nod, and read expressions and mimic body language. I know that if a person crosses their leg, I need to cross my leg even just for a moment just to mirror their posture. They feel more comfortable. I never thought I would be a life coach. I wanted to be a musician. The problem is that I have no musical talent. So that fell apart, badly. I really can’t complain about my job. It’s just weird to put into perspective what I am really doing in my sessions.
-Worst Life Coach